how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
