my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
