I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
