I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
do nipples grow back?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
