"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
