I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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