Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
