we're blogging at a bar
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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