well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
