Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
