The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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