No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
