if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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