Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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