yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
