I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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