i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
