On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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