That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
