i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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