I want to make a zoo with you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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