She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
