my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
