look no pants
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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