Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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