And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I AM VODKA MAN
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
