all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
