that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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