Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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