Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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