i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize