Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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