He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
