That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
