Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
