yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
