Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize