Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
