I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
