i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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