i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
