I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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