normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize