People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
