I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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