I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
