Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize