You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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