yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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