I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize