I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
