You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize