He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
