I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we're making bets on your personal life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
