let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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