Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
