ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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