You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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