Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
