Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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