i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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