Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
