And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize