you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
